It's my 34th birthday today. If you'd asked me on my 24th birthday where I'd be today, i wouldn't believe quite how it's turned out.

I never thought I'd still be alone, battling the issues that come along with being an introvert and (slightly!) overweight, along with living paycheck to paycheck and having had the confidence knocked out of me by bad relationships in the past. I Never imagined that I wouldn't be settled down with a husband and family by now. Never in my wildest dreams would I believe that I was considering for "settling" just to not be alone anymore, that I would stop feeling optimistic about the future and what tomorrow could possibly bring. I was so sure of what I wanted! Maybe that was my downfall. I got a bit crazy in my 20s on the whole "I'm young and free and just want to have fun" ride. Maybe it's karma for those days. if it is, can i get a do-over? I would tell 24 me to change my wicked ways.

But here it is. I'm 34. I work as many hours as I possibly can so I don't have to sit alone in my house (don't tell my cat cos she might try to kill me in my sleep). I tell everyone I'm not taking dating sites seriously, but secretly I am. The funny thing is, the more alone I am the less inclination I have to go out and try new things on my own. Weird right. I guess, therefor, I'm my own worst enemy? Catch 22, vicious circle and all that. I reckon my big problem is that I have an idea in my head of the life that I want and I've always been so sure that I would never settle for less.

Here it is: a gun-slinging, horse-loving, hard-grafting country boy (southern country drawl optional, but preferred) who is easy going, fun, gentle but strong, kind and caring. A man who opens doors for women, who answers the phone to my mother and has a conversation with her first. A man who asks about my day and actually listens to my reply. A man who is thoughtful enough to leave little positive notes for me to read in random places. A man who will pull me to my feet on a random night to dance with me in the middle of the room to no music other than the humming of his voice to his favourite song. But equally has a bad-boy streak who will stand up to me when I'm wrong, will take me on exciting adventures that makes my eyes glisten, my cheeks glow and my skin tingle with adrenaline, will make a campfire in our back garden and sit up all night laughing with me. I hear what you are saying - this man surely doesn't exist! But, I tell you - I've seen pieces of these qualities in male friends and colleagues and in special, random snippets I am blessed to witness in other people's lives. Surely if it exists across say, 10 men, then maybe just maybe they can all exist in one? But, I fool myself.

I am under no illusion. Here is some other things I have learned in my 34 years. Nothing is 'just round the corner'. Ever. Things that are meant for us go past us all the time because we are either too scared to grab hold or we are too busy concentrating on a distraction. Life is no fairytale, trust is easily lost, people very rarely tell you the whole truth and sometimes there is no tomorrow. The grass is sometimes greener. People are mean, sometimes they don't even realise it. Everyone has their own agenda and that can put blinkers on them so they have no clue that every person is battling something inside, including themselves. Jealousy is indeed wicked. Contrary to popular belief, it doesn't just take 'one small act' to make a difference. Love hurts. A lot. Moreso when it's not reciprocated.

So maybe I have to let go of my idealist dream. Maybe I need to let the negativity in. Maybe I should get a few more cats. But then, if I don't keep believing then the negativity has won, surely, and another person's hopes and dreams for something truly awesome is lost forever. Another person has settled. To what end though? With that does resentment and sorrow not follow? Shall I be writing similar thoughts when I'm 64? I have no idea.

All I do know is that it's my 34th birthday today. 🎂


#wallsdown #thebigT #happybirthdaytome

I'm sure there's loads you can do in seven months. Apart from have a baby. But actually, even some people have a baby at seven months if it's a premy, so disregard that last (false) statement. Okay, so let's be a bit more specific...the things I have done in seven months (I say seven months because that's hoe long it's been since my last post):

1. I have gone back to work. It's been a relatively easy transition to be honest. My first day back was a bit nerve wracking, but everyone was really lovely and they made me feel really relaxed. I had problems the first few days with getting out of breath, but the big bosses were really understanding and went out of their way to help me out. I did end up doing a whole season of late shifts though, which ended up being a bit of a strain but it's sort of even itself out now and I get a good mixture of days and lates. No 0330 starts yet which I'm happy about and am not looking forward to seeing the first one next to my name.  I'm sure it's bound to be there soon enough!

2. I crashed my brand new car! No, I'm not joking! My second day back at work I was given access to a different car park and the first day of using said new car park I totally cocked it up and crashed into a kerb next to the barriers. Not fun.  I had to phone for a tow truck because it was undrivable and in the end took a week to fix and costs my insurance £1700. Sucks to be me huh!

3. I am off the Warfarin. You could even say that I am back to normal. Well, mostly. I still have an irregular heartbeat which I have to get respiratory physio for but things are going well and hopefully in the next few months I'll be given the all clear completely. My carbon dioxide levels are a bit too low than a healthy person but the physio will help rectify that and maybe I'll be the next person to sign up to a half marathon (haha yeah right!)

4.  I no longer have to introduce myself as 'single'. Yep, you heard it here, well, last. It's been an emotional ride to get here and I totally believe in everything happening for a reason. It's been a learning curve vue and. It an easy one at that. But if nothing else, I've learnt just how much patience I have, how great my ability is to hold on to the faintest of strings in a foundation, even I should have (perhaps) let go. It's certainly not been easy but it has been a much needed distraction from my poorly health and I like the boy, so I suppose it's all good overall. Remember, the good Lord gave us mountains so that we could learn how to climb.

5. I moved out. Yes, and in with the boy. No, I can't quite believe it either. It's a bit surreal and sometimes I still go to take the wrong junction home to go to my mums.  It's been a roller coaster of a ride to get here but we seem to be working, even though we have a lot of bad days. But that's nor all for a transitioning couple, isn't it? We both habits, we both have baggage, we both have mood swings and an introverted personality and yes, we get on each other's nerves. A lot. But it's a process and we just have to take one day at a time. It's not easy for either of our stubborn personalities and yes, old habits die hard, but at least we are under no illusion about each other...neither of us are perfect.

6. Hmmm...I can't think of a sixth so I think that's my seven month update. Good and bad has happened, but I'm grateful for both. One wouldn't cope without the other I don't think. If everything was rosy all the time I'd get bored. I haven't done much writing lately but I'm slowly getting back into it and have some good ideas running around in my head which I'll get around to writing down at some point. Been contemplating going back to studying too, just don't know whether it will be my OU degree or perhaps a paralegal course to get me a better paid job (which I desperately need now that my salary is shared!). It's a difficult decision which I haven't processed in my head yet. I guess I just want to get through the next few months as smoothly as I can whilst my wage is at a minimum and then think a bit more about it when it's summer season and I'm bringing in all the overtime and big bucks!

Okay, well until next time...

Rhona out.

I have to write about this, otherwise I think my head might explode and that just wouldn't do...my PJs tonight are fresh on and I'd hate to have to wash them again so soon.

If you are an avid reader of my blog (you're probably not!) then you'll see a couple of posts ago I wrote about the recent health issues I've had.  My world has just been turned upside down.  My emotions are scattered everywhere and most of the time I don't know whether i'm coming or going.  I reckon the NHS should provide some kind of counselling groups for those who have brushes with death.  I'm not saying that what happened to me is the worst that could possibly happen to anyone - I'm soooo not saying that and I appreciate that people are in much worse positions than me...BUT...your own problems are bigger because they are from your own perspective.  My problems are relative to me, so therefore they are massive problems!  Get it?!

So I decided last week that no matter what the doctor said tomorrow at my meeting with her, I would be going back to work straight after.  I've now been off sick for 9 weeks and I think it's making my mental state worse.  The main problem with not working every day is that there's nothing to occupy your mind.  I'm overthinking matters that I shouldn't be and it's definitely not helping.  There's a boy (there's always a boy!) that I really thought could be in my life for a while...but his fear of commitment and my lack of brain-occupation (that's what I'm calling my current unemployed state!) has made it so that I've completely jumped aboard what I thought was a potential relationship, studied every word both spoken and written, sat at home every day just waiting for him to get home so that I could spend all evening (and I mean every evening) with him.  All that's happened is that I've become much more invested in a 'friendship' than he has and it's now blown up in my face.  I just don't get it...and although I've got an abundance of time on my hands, I don't think i'll ever get it.  I know it's a fear.  The fear of rejection, of not being good enough, of having to change, of having to let those walls crumble and let someone in.  His words contradict his actions.  He doesn't see that how he interacts with me one day, has a direct effect on his mood the next.  Am I the only one out here that has been in a situation like this?  I doubt that I am, but I feel very much alone right now.

I just know that it would be great if he'd let me in.  My main problem now is...do I walk away or persevere?  Walking away sounds easy, but not when you've bonded for weeks on end, have an emotional tie to each other and have spent every possible minute in each other's company.  Persevere?  That would be an indefinite amount of time spent in constant limbo not knowing if he'll ever admit it and let me in.  Just now he's got me right where he wants me...skirting around his walls and every so often, when he thinks i'm pulling away, he dangles a little bit over the edge to draw me back in.  It reminds me of a song by The Wreckers, called Leave the Pieces.  In fact, here's the video...

Y'know how sometimes you can wake up and have something that makes you happy straight away, like the sun streaming in the window...or realising that you have no work...or a 'good morning' text from someone special...well that happened to me today.  Had a lie in, woke up in a good mood.  Then it swiftly went downhill from there and now i'm sitting at 23:27 and I have a horrible knot in my tummy.  My head is spinning and I just want to curl up in a corner and rock myself into another world.

I've wanted to record a new song for a little while now and this one especially.  If you know me then you know I basically live my life through song lyrics.  This song has been special to me for a few years now and has been my 'go to' song when i've been all muddled up with emotions.  It lays it out black and white style.  A song direct from the deepest desires of a heart that longs to be stolen.  My voice doesn't do it justice, but the emotion behind it is not lacking.

I don't really know where to start.  I don't think there is a start.  I haven't blogged in so long, but I have so much swimming around my head that I have to release somewhere and this is as safe a place as any...I know what you're thinking...the internet isn't very safe.  But, well, in all my years of having this blog, I don't think that any more than 5 people have read it so I think it's safe to say that it sin't going to go viral!  And yes, I did just have a conversation with myself.  I do it a lot, deal with it.

Okay.  It was my 31st birthday yesterday.  Yay, not.  I didn't do very much for it.  I just hung out with an old high school crush that I haven't seen in about 17 years that recently came back into my life.  (But will never be anything more as he so kindly text me today!).  I had fun, but today I have well and truly got the birthday blues.  Doesn't help the fact that I am unwell too.

Here's how my last few months have been...

A coupla months ago I ended up in hospital because I had difficulty breathing.  I had put up with it for a week and a half and it was getting worse to the point that I couldn't go from sitting down to standing without having to spend 10 minutes catching my breath.  Long story short (full of misdiagnosing doctors and "i'm okay!" to work colleagues) my sister drags me to A&E.  At that point, my oxygen levels were at 70%ish and my resting heartbeat was around 135.  Pretty serious.  They were quick in getting a chest X-ray and CT scan, which showed that I had multiple blood clots on both my lungs (which the Specialist called "extensive").  In other words...a Pulmonary Embolism. You may have heard of this - many famous people have dropped dead from them.  Anyway, on top of that I also had pneumonia...no wonder I couldn't bloody breath!  The doctors quickly whisked me away to the respiratory ward where I was serious enough to warrant a room on my own (yay, silver lining!), however it didn't stop me from catching a virus that was kicking around and for 3 days I fought a raging fever (just because I wasn't dealing with enough and I like a challenge!).

Throughout all this, my boyfriend buggered off to another country on holiday and didn't contact me once (even though he knew I had nearly died) and even when he came back he only visited me once, for no more than 3 hours...even though he could have stayed with me the full day.  Everyone was telling me what he was doing was awful, and I knew it was awful, but I already felt so rubbish that actually all they were doing was making me feel worse.  Now, I had a BEAUTIFUL doctor looking after me and taking my daily blood tests and he got to know all about my relationship woes.  Even HE was telling me to dump the douche.  Easier said than done.  I always try to see the good in everyone so I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.  However, when I got home he didn't come see me when he was meant to and so, alas, he was booted out the door.  Even though I was home, I was still seeing my doctor for daily blood tests/injections and one of the first things he asked me about was the douche...I took great delight in telling him I was single.  Alas, though, nothing came of that (and quite rightly so as he would have been unprofessional!).  Although I do know how to contact him on FB....would that be unprofessional of me?  (I didn't stalk him - we just got on well enough that we shared that kind of information!)  He's technically not my doctor any more.  I don't need to visit the hospital anymore so really, I won't see him again otherwise!  No?  Stupid thing to do?  Okay, that's a no then.

Having a near-death experience is quite scary.  For the past couple of years I have worried that I was getting older, I was single and, being a PCOS sufferer, wondering if I would ever be blessed with a family of my own.  Well, let me tell you...a death scare doesn't help with that situation!  I am now 31, have blood clots, single and still have PCOS!  I'm in a worse position now!  I've kind of gone off topic now, but I think I have found the crux of the thoughts in my head.  When will it be my turn?  I am a good person, I am kind, I am thoughtful, I get told that I have a great sense of humour, I am affectionate and loyal.  Okay, i'm a little forgetful but i'm not perfect!  I am very rarely serious, although slightly too sarcastic.  I am mentally creative and like a good challenge.  I am smart and a bit of a tomboy.  I don't wear dresses every day, but I scrub up well.  Okay, I need to lose some weight but surely the whole world isn't superficial?  When will it be my turn?  I'm not outdoorsy but I like a good walk with a view.  I am romantic and positive and have been waiting patiently for my fairytale but it never comes.  I am sensitive and strong and tough but always the first to back down.  I try to see things from every point of view and all I want is for someone to make me their priority.  When will it be my turn?

The silver lining with my illness is that I lost a stone in a week and have managed to not put it back on.  I have joined a slimming class and although I haven't lost anything else - which i'm not surprised at because of the drugs I have to take for the clots and the fact i'm not exercising - I have managed to maintain instead of putting on.  I mean, i'm not the size of a factory...I just need to get back into shape.  I always said I needed something drastic to happen for me to lose weight.  I just never thought it would be nearly dying.  This whole experience has completely changed my outlook.  Although I will always be a procrastinator, I have this little spark that's been ignited and it's telling me to push.  It's telling me that enough is enough and I have to stand up and fight if I want anything good to happen in my life.  It's telling me that it's not enough to just be part of the crowd and blend in.  I am going to have to raise my head above the parapet and shout loudly.  I want to be noticed.  I want to be counted.  I want to have a purpose rather than just dodging along doing the same thing every day.

I'm not back at work yet and I don't think I will be for another few weeks.  Having this time away will hopefully help with the weight loss so that when I go back it will seem like I am a new woman.  I work in a large airport - so maybe, just maybe, it will finally be my turn?  I'm 31 now.  I want a family.  I need to grow up and get my act together.  I need to stop hiding behind my face that passes for an early 20s girl.  I need to start giving a proper shit.  I need to start making an effort.  I need to stop building walls, yet as soon as someone starts chipping away at them, letting them crumble away so that I give up and bare all too soon because I am so eager to have someone love me.  I need to find my inner strength and fight for my confidence to return.  I need to find the passion in myself again.  I need to have the courage to step out of the boat and walk on water.  I need to listen to my own advice.  I need to believe that I am good enough.

Crazy as it sounds, I feel a huge relief just writing this down.  I know I have ranted a little bit, but sometimes I find that just starting the writing and let my mind wander as I type, I eventually get to the reason for the way i'm feeling and the writing just goes where it needs to go.  This is the Randomness of Rhona blog after all.

I don't think my journey is over, I don't even think it has begun, but I think that my first step was to get all the above out of my head so that my mind has space to work with.  What will be will be.  What's for me won't go past me.  The good Lord has a plan for me.  I just need to figure out where to go now.

Right now though I feel like, okay I cheated death.....but life has cheated me for years.  How is that fair?

So another month has come and gone and yet again i've not kept up with my blog.  Bad me.  I'm terrible!  I've not written to my friend currently spending time in maximum security prison since last year either.  Erm...actually i'm thinking that having me on his bad-side might inevitably be a bad thing so I might write to him after I've blogged.  Just in case.  I'm sure he's reformed....but I don't think i'll take that chance!

A friend was texting me last night.  He's a new friend.  A lovely new friend who I really enjoy talking to (he's just as weird as me) and he started freaking me out by texting things about me (like my birth place and shoe size).  Obviously being a reformed stalker, my alarm bells started ringing, but it made me climb on the laptop (well, not literally!) and google myself.  Wow.  I really shouldn't have done that!  There's so much out there about me that I had no idea about!  And sadly I've found i'm not as unique as I hoped I was!  BUT I also found that there are websites that have my handle (aarrbeee) that I've never been on in my life before!  That's just wrong!  I think i'm finally grasping the fear that some of my friends already display in what they have about their lives being an open book for weirdos and axe-murderers and fraudsters alike.  I mean, when I say i'm grasping the fear, i'm kind of just tenderly stroking the fear.  It doesn't scare me and i'll not stop buying things with my cards online and i'll not become a hermit and go deep underground in a bid to avoid all things techno, but I will pause before I spill my inner thoughts and plans and itineraries with the great big world.....hmmm....i'm still doing it on here though so maybe i'll need to work on that.

Anyway, said friend that made me google myself put me in touch with my old myspace account which I hadn't looked at since 2006 or something.  Wow, it was a blast from the past!  I had a mini blog on there before I set up this one and I do have to say that after reading it (and the comments made by complete strangers) that I have a strange gift of storytelling.  One stranger in particular said something along the lines of that my ability to put laughter and entertainment into my real life trials and tribulations was refreshing and amusing.  I think that was a compliment.  Maybe.

I decided after many weeks of ponderment that I would start up a new blog.  One for my work.  So much funny stuff happens to me at my work that it seems wrong to not share them all with the world.  I'm sure I'll be the only one that reads them, but at least i'm making a memory.  I love my job, and although i'll be keeping the other blog anonymous (i'm hoping there will be no links to me), i'm quite excited about keeping a journal about the stuff that happens.  I'm hoping that maybe one day i'll be able to tie some of my amusing customers and fellow colleagues personalities, anecdotes and situations into a new novel (after I finish the one i'm still writing!)

Speaking of writing, still studying for my degree.  I've been passing all my assignments so far and got another one due in a couple weeks.  I'm a little behind with the studying because of recent things happening, but I just need to focus, get my head in the game and get on with it.  I'm such a procrastinator (it's a better word than lazy), but I know i've got the strength somewhere to get through it so I just need to hold onto the end product (the degree) and keep my head down.

Oh oh oh...i've signed myself up to do a sponsored 12 mile walk in June.  My bestie friend is doing it for a local charity that supports her with a medical condition that she has just been diagnosed with so me and her sister have signed up to support her.  I'm going to be raising money for Verity UK, the only charity in the UK that supports and aids women living with PCOS (Poly-cystic Ovarian Syndrome).  I have been living with this condition since I was roughly 16 and it has pretty much ruled my life (and ruined it a little).  If you can find it in your heart to sponsor me, my justgiving page is HERE and I truly would be so incredibly grateful for any contributions you could give me.  I'll be plugging this event nearer the time and probably be giving an update on training for it soon, so keep reading!

It's time for bed now.

Rhona out.

Right now I should be studying the wonderful artistry that is Paul Cezánne and starting on the essay that is due in this week, but I really don't have the energy.  Which is pretty pathetic really because I came in from work tonight, had dinner and watched a bit of the depression that was the nightly news then came upstairs, shoved the PC and laptop on (yes both of them), got changed into my PJ's, plonked myself down on my computer chair and that is where I have been stationed for the past 4 hours.  Pathetic.  Man, I could have done so much more productive things in 4 hours than what I have actually done!  I can't even say that I've done anything at all actually.  I've sat and chatted to a couple people on Facebook, caught up with some TV that I sky+'d and watched the awkward teenager across the street prance around his bedroom like a nancy boy to some kind of music - I hope was a boy-tastic band like the Backstreet Boys or Westlife *RIP* - and now i'm thinking about sub-plots to my novel.  Actually, does it make me sound like a perv the fact that I watched the teenager across the way dancing?!  I feel I have to clarify; I am in an attic conversion with my desk looking out onto the main street.  I have a terrace of houses opposite me and the boy's bedroom is one level down from where i'm sitting so can see, with ease, his whole room.  You see it's actually his parent's fault because they have no curtains in his bedroom (never have for some reason) so the poor coming-of-age lad has no privacy...though i'm sure he doesn't appreciate just how much of his room can be seen.  Not that I've seen anything or even looked into his room at all, apart from that one time when it was instigated by him because he shone one of those red laser thingies into my room when I was having a girl's night in.  So there.  Glad I got that sorted out.

I work with a plethora of different people every day.  Some I get on better with than others, but on the whole they're a good bunch.  I've formed good bonds with a select few, mainly within my own little team (and surrounding departments) and although the majority of our banter is taking the complete piss out of each other, I know it's all meant in a harmless way.  I give as good as I get and 'at the end of the day' (as a Jeremy Kyle guest would say), it keeps me laughing and makes the day go alot faster.  Did I mention that I love laughing?  Hmmm...I think I even dedicated a whole blog post to laughing.  Weird.

Well, my little buddies...I think from now on I'll call them JD and Turk (because there's a little too much man-loving going on there) gave me a little compassion today.  They handled a situation better than what I thought they would.  A horrible sitiuation (which was inevitable in the dept I work in) arose.  In true "I don't know how to deal with this" fashion, they took the piss...until they realised I was upset and soon dug up a little compassion from somewhere and actually made me feel better.  Ah bless...they're good lads really.  

Anyway.  Seems my little pals' piss taking is not being received very well by a fellow colleague.  This select individual has been at the receiving end of a bit of teasing the past couple of days (brought on by himself I might add) and he just can't handle it.  I, personally, find it very amusing.  That's not to say that I agree with what they're saying or how they're acting, i'm just choosing to act my very mature, yet borderline young age and rise above it.  Life's too short to be dragged down by teenage ridicule.  Haha!  I say that now...just wait until my nephew turns 16 and begins to ridicule his Auntie Rhona.  Oh, hang on....he already does!

Anyway, this individual asked for a shout out....so.....there it was!  Man up and don't let them dictate how you act within the workplace....you're actually making it worse by avoiding us now!  That makes it look like there's something going on and you're trying to hide it!

Right, gotta go catch up on a little sleep time so that I can get up for work tomorrow.  Hmmm....I hope something interesting happens (not like today though!)

Rhona out.

K, so i've just been sorting through my old hard drives and I found the following videos...of me singing!  I'm sure it is of no interest to you all, but for self-preservation's sake i'm going to put them on here.  Be gentle in your critisisms!

Wish You Were Here was recorded with my old band, Father Jack and Breathe Me was a song that I put together for my demo page.  Enjoy (hopefully!)

Hello Children, it is I; Rhona!

Been a while since I blogged last, hey!  Yeah I was full of promise in my last post about mobile blogging.  It turns out that i'm not disciplined enough to blog from my phone.  Perhaps disciplined is not the right word, maybe I should go with 'couldn't be arsed'.  Yeah, let's go with that.

So, you want the big bad update then?  Hmmm, lets see what I can do.  (Yeah, okay, I know - you don't really care, but tough cookies...you're gonna hear all about it anyway!)

Today is Saturday, tomorrow is Sunday, yesterday was Friday Friday Friday (sorry, couldn't resist).  Today really is Saturday though and I'm just sitting on G's couch, listening to some music on youtube.  Right now, I'm listening to a band called Hugo and their rendition of Jay Z's 99 Problems.  Och, here you go - click the video and be happy for 4 minutes.....



I actually discovered a new band on Youtube a month or so ago.  They are called Boyce Avenue and do acoustic covers of popular songs.  I especially love their rendition of Rihanna's Only Girl (in the World).  Here you go - take a listen...



Gives me goosebumps just listening to it!

I digress - back to the update.  Well, I'm still in Alice and i'm still alive (YAY!).  It's quickly coming up to my departure date and it's not fair!  It feels like i've been here just a couple of weeks.  My trip has had it's highs and lows but I wouldn't change it for a thing (well, maybe a couple of things but lets not get into that right now!)  One of the highs has to absolutely be the weather!  It's just been glorious here every day apart from 3 days where it was drizzling.  Can't complain at that and was in fact quite nice to be out in.  Of course, all  natives thought I was a bit mad at going out in it, but hey...i'm scottish!

Okay, something I'm not proud of.  Went out drinking last weekend with a bunch of guys.  There had been some fighting talk before my arrival that a certain Australian could drink me under the table.  Well, that theory was tried and tested last weekend and it's safe to say that at 0600 the next morning, I was still standing (not falling over!) and he was passed out.  I kept up with the lads all night, drink for drink, in fact I was a few drinks ahead by the end of it and at the end of the night I was still standing!  Just talking to G about it now and oh my he's pretty defensive about it!  He claims that I'm lying, but that's utter nonsense.  I was there, I know what happened, his male ego has taken a beating and he doesn't like it.  He says there's two sides to every story, and I think that everyone will find that they completely agree with each other.  I win, he loses, and okay, i'm a little proud!  Ut oh, G now looks like he could beat the crap out of me.  Okay - he gave it a good go and if the bouncers that he started on hadn't told him to drink water in the Casino then he would have probably given me a good run for my money.  (that's mollified him a little)

Let me tell you all about a night out in Alice Springs with G and his mates.  It all starts out good until someone wants to have a fight (as G just confirmed just now "i'll f***ing fight anyone!") then there's no stopping them.  We were having a nice quiet night, having a few drinks, having a few laughs, learning a few home truths(!) when a bully of a doorman (or yardman!) started in on one of G's mates for no other reason than the fact that he had had a few drinks and was merry in a loud, harmless way.  Sort of justified that G and friends should get defensive, however, no need for people to square up to each other and for WW3 to break out (okay, exaggeration, but you know what I mean).  We were moved on from that pub by the ensemble of bouncers that appeared out of nowhere to backup the doorman and we ended up in another pub where it took a wee while for the guys to calm down from their encounter.  There was live music in 'Rock Bar' which made me a happy chappy.  G is sitting next to me just now giving me his 2 cents worth - I've to make sure I tell you all that heaps of people were coming up to him to say hi - I won't deny that he's got a reputation in this little town.  "One of them even gave me a Wet Pussy" says he - a drinking shot. 

So, no fighting in Rock Bar.  But - i'm not even going to mention the taxi journey to the Casino as I don't  think I could even repeat what was said in that vehicle.  Let's just say that I doubled back and apologised to the taxi driver once they had all left it.  Alcohol has a lot to answer for.  We got to the Casino and straight away it kicked off.  One of G's mates was refused entry for looking intoxicated (hello!) so he swiftly verbalised a few swear words and threats to the big Samoan doorman.  This really helped in our goal of getting in!  J (the intoxicated one) walked out and went home, but not before pounding on the window from outside and threatening the doorman again.  G, being the loyal friend that he is, started in on the doorman for not allowing J in.  This swiftly made the doorman decide that another of his mates, M, was intoxicated too so he wouldn't get in either.  I do think it's fair to say that they were all intoxicated!  Yep, G quickly stuck up for M and had another go at the doorman.  25 minutes later, I was sitting on a couch at the entrance with D, G's sobour mate, whilst G and said doorman were still exchanging (not so nice) pleasantries.  EVENTUALLY another of G's mates managed to sweet talk the doorman and we ALL got in...on the condition that G and M drank water all night.  Hilarious!  It was pretty much the end of the night after that, G and M and said other friend decided to leave whilst D and I were at the toilet (not together!) - nice, huh! - so we stayed a bit longer and when we did eventually get home, G was sound asleep on the couch....sooooooo I WIN!  Woohoo!  Children - I'm not cool - don't aspire to do that next weekend!

Tomorrow (Sunday), G and I are taking a mini road trip to Uluru (Ayer's Rock).  We're going away for a couple of days and incorporating another couple of touristy places aswell which I just know is going to be awesome!  I can't wait to see the big rock and the other stuff we'll be visiting. 

YAY it works!!!

RB

After 38 hours of gruelling Quantas flights, indifferent flight food and completely skipping Friday 13th, I made it to Australia!  The journey was pretty unremarkable (i.e. no famous celebrities on my flight like there was last time:  Tim Minchin).  I got chatting to the girl that was sitting next to me on the big 16 hour flight and went for coffee with her when we got to Melbourne.  We both had an hour to kill before I flew onwards to Alice and she flew onto Tasmania.  Was quite nice to have some company for the flight, broke it up a bit and didn't make the trip seem as long.  Of course it was, but you know what I mean!  Stupid thing happened in Melbourne though - I was sitting on the 'dunny' (see what I did there!?) having a pee when all of a sudden my nose started bleeding.  It was kind of inevitable because of the dry air and the fact that you just have to look at my nose and it starts bleeding.  It was a bit of a nightmare  because I had to try and pull my trousers up whilst trying not to look like I had an uncontrollable period!  I ended up getting blood all over my top and right through my hair (don't ask!)  Even when I came out of the stall and there other ladies all over the place, not one person asked if I was okay.  I mean, I probably would have just said yes and not accept any help from them because I get nosebleeds so often, but THEY don't know that!  What if it was my first ever nosebleed and I was really upset!?  Unfriendly travellers!!  Anyway, after that palava, I got on my final hour and a half journey to Alice Springs.  Thank goodness G was waiting for me and thank goodness my case came round on the conveyor belt!!

The air wasn't as humid as I thought it would be so at least I wasn't sweating too uncontrollably!  The airport is relatively small, so I met up with G before I had to panic about my case maybe not being there so I wasn't as flustered because I had somebody to distract me and therefore not allow me to get all hot and bothered!

We got back to G's and all I wanted was to hop into bed for a few hours kip and have a nice hot shower!  Oh, but there were pretty things to play with!!  First off, G has the CUTEST dog ever!  Although L is a staffy, he is pure pedigree and has a gorgeous head on him.  I was a bit apprehensive about him being a staffy because they've got such a bad reputation, but I do have to admit that I've fallen in love with him!  He's got such a lovely personality, never barks, never growls, never disobeys, never whines and just wants attention all the time.  I'll try and upload a photo soon.

Secondly, G has a blinking huge Crane in his yard!  So of course I had to have a shot of that before I did anything else!  I learnt all the hand signals for lifting the boom, etc.  I could totally be a crane operator!  Check me!

I'm now 3 and a bit weeks in of my 3 months here.  It doesn't feel like i've been here 3 months at all!  I'm having slight computer withdrawal because the only laptop in the house is G's office laptop and so I don't have free access to that.  I do have the internet on my iPhone, but it's not as good as sitting at a monitor typing away on a keyboard!  Ah well, the break will do me good!  Also means i'm hardly ever on FB, which can only be a good thing!

Next weekend we're going away camping for Finke 2011 (check it out:  http://finkedesertrace.com.au)...i'll/ try to blog from my phone after the event and let you all know how it goes.  Not looking forward to camping out in the desert, in the middle of nowhere, with just a swag to keep me safe, but I suppose i'll be able to say "i've done it!" afterwards!!

Right, going now to figure out how to blog from my phone!

Chow for now dearies!

Rhona out.

Good morning fellow bloggers/readers/friends/enemies/strangers/people-who-have-ended-up-here-by-accident!
How are we all today? It’s a misty day in Edinburgh today, which is rubbish. Let’s hope it clears up into something beautiful by lunch.

To start: I have this song stuck in my head today:

I see that far away look in your eyes
A hurt and a hunger that I recognise
There’s a void in your spirit that you can’t disguise
A need for a place to call home.

You’re worn out and weary from running around
But you’re aimless and restless and can’t settle down
'Cause you’re looking for something you just haven’t found
A place for your heart to call home.

In the quiet night when you’re finally alone
And you open a part of your soul
Your homeless heart breathes out a prayer
Crying out that there’s got to be more!

Your Savior’s aware that you’re struggling so
He’s feeling your longing and He wants you to know
That there’s something eternal engraved in your soul
That draws you and beckons you home.

And it carries a promise that time can’t erase
That one day the answers will fall into place
And your Saviour will wipe every tear from your face
And hold you and welcome you home.


Can you relate to this?

Wow, i've not blogged since April.  Funny how time flies!

I've just read over my last blog and much of this blog will tie into it so that's good, eh!  I've had a funny few months, most have been unhappy, but we'll get to that.  First, an update since April.

So, I moved out of my flat that I was sharing with Screamer (our landlord went bankrupt).  In June I moved into my own little pad on my own, which I LOVE!  It's 3 minutes door to door from my best friend, 20 minutes walk to work and right in the centre of Edinburgh.  Although I love my flat, it's not been without its issues (and i've only been in it since June!)  First of all, my neighbour (christened "catman") has 10 cats which roam in my garden, next to my garden, generally all up in my space!  There's a cute little black one that says hello to me and is quite tame (to the point it comes into my flat if my front door is open).  They don't really bother me on the whole so I guess I can't complain too much.  Anyway, I had to deal with my first mouse encounter in July.  I was lying on my bed, with my bedroom door closed and it scurried under my door, saw me and scurried back out again.  I swear it was like it was saying hello to me!  I had to hop foot it to B&Q to get some humane mousetraps to dot around my flat.  Fortunately the mouse had the sense to not come back because the traps didn't catch anything and i've not had any bother since.  Maybe one of the ten cats got to it first! 

So with that out of the way I was vermin free until two weeks ago.  I came home from work on the Monday night to 8 big massive bluebottles flying around my flat.  A coincidence you might say...me too until I came home on Tuesday and there were another 6 fresh ones!  I started to think something was wrong.  It occurred to me by Thursday that maybe I had an infestation of some kind.  Bluebottles are naturally attracted to rotting meat.  It also occured to me that I hadn't seen my fragile old alcoholic neighbour in a couple of weeks.  Cue:  Rhona's imagination into overdrive.  Sooo not only did I have bluebottle issues, I was also convinced that it was because of my neighbour being dead in his flat next door.  Okay, I'm a bit of a drama queen...but at least I know it!  By Saturday there were no more bluebottles and luckily my neighbour had made signs of movement so emergency over, no need for Scotland Yard.  I think what had happened was that a fly was in my flat and laid some eggs in the plant that I have and that's what happened.  Anyway, that was two weeks ago and i've not had any since so thank goodness!

Don't get me wrong though, I love where I am living.  Although it's right next to the Hearts Stadium (Tynecastle), it's actually really quiet and peaceful.  I've learnt to not venture out whilst there's a game going on and I have all necessary shops within a 5 minute walk.  I'm quite lucky really.  The only downside is that the neighbour above me (i'm on the ground floor) likes to sing acappella...loudly....and very out of tune.  It gets annoying, but I just crank my tunes up to drown her out.  It's not nearly as bad as the neighbours in my old flat!

Ugh...next thing to go wrong with my flat:  the ceiling in my cupboard has started falling down!  Seriously!!  That's the 3rd thing to happen now so hopefully once the landlord has fixed it (they are investigating it today) nothing else will go wrong!  Keep the prayers coming and the fingers crossed!

Right, so enough about my dwelling place.

In June I went to see Rage Against The Machine at Finsbury Park.  WOW!!  It was absolutely amazing!  Best gig i've been to!  They played all their greatest hits and everyone was so friendly!  There was 75,000 rockers there and not one fight in sight.  I was suffering slightly as I had been at a friend's wedding the night before which had been out in the open on one of the hottest days in Scotland this year.  I'm not exaggerating when I say my chest was red raw.  In fact, here's a photo to prove it:

I would like to think that I have not blogged in TWO MONTHS because I have been jet setting around the world, or i've been in prison, or even, I've died and came back to life, but unfortunately nothing quite as exciting as that has held me back from blogging to the world (hmmm or the 2 or 3 people who read this!)  I generally update my blog whilst I'm at work and everytime i've gone to start typing a new post something distracts me and I don't get around to it.  BUT I'm MAKING the time to do it NOW!  I've got all types of news today!

Lets get the sad news out of the way...

The Singing Man
Unfortunately, U2's favourite groupie has not been seen nor heard of since Christmas.  I'm actually pretty gutted about it.  It's just a complete mystery as to where he's gone.  He definitely looked like he lived nearby as he was forever walking past with bread and milk, but alas, maybe he has moved away...or he's been issued with an asbo and is doing time in Saughton (Edinburgh's answer to Guatanamo!)  Oh how I miss his dulcet tones.  Incidentally - did you know that saying "I thought I heard your dulcet tones" is actually a compliment.  It wasn't after hearing it for years and saying it to others that I actually looked it up on Wiki (via Google!) that it's actually a compliment because 'dulcet' means gentle or lilty.  Anyway, randomness over; continue with original train of thought!

R has gone sick today so i'm having to man the phones and I swear if the phone goes one more time this morning I'm going to scream!  I hate answering the calls and the 8 lines are so busy all day!  Grrrr!

Here goes with the good news:

University
I have decided to go ahead and try to get on a nursing course and try to obtain a degree in nursing!  I've decided that that's what I want to do and I can't wait to apply to see if I can get on a course!  Woohoo!!  I'll keep you updated on what happens with that.

I've got an exciting latter part of the year coming up!  In June I've got a good friend's wedding to go to and then the next day at 7am (it's going to be either a sober wedding or a hungover flight!) I fly down to London to see Rage Against The Machine at Finsbury Park.  They promised to do a free gig in London if they won the Christmas No.1 with Killing in the Name of and they did and so now they are!!  I managed to get El Roostio and I two free tickets and so we're going down to the gig.  I really think it's going to be the gig of the year.  Those who have tickets for it have been able to vote for who we want to support RAGE and if the band is free that date then they are going to do it!  I've voted for System of a Down, Karnivool (an Australian band which RAWKS!) and Kings of Leon.  Think we're pushing it for System, but wow if they do it!

In September I'm going back down to London with my big sis to see Muse at the O2 Arena and that's guaranteed to be another jaw droppingly good gig! 


Okay, so I started writing this blog a week ago, then as per usual, I got distracted and it's sat as a draft since then.  I'll finish it up now.

I have been having issues with my right wrist recently.  I initially thought it was RSI from working with a PC all day every day, but as the weeks have gone by the true cause of the pain has started shining through (not the right phrase, I know).  I have been diagnosed as having damaged my Suprasinatus (I know, sounds like a dinosaur!).  It's basically the 4 muscles that sit round my shoulder.  So the pain is not just in one spot now, it's right down my arm to my fingers, right across the top of my back, right up the right side of my neck and round and under my shoulder.  I'm having to get physio on it, but until it's fixed, I have to have deep heat on it, i'm on really strong pain killers and I can't write/type (I know i'm typing just now but i'm fighting through the pain, ok!)

So that's my update - i'm sure there's more, but I can't focus enough today!

Rhona out.